Look, I’m no furniture expert but I am a buying-gimmicky-shit professor and this story is relevant to my chosen studies. As reported by Polygon, US home furnishing giant and shop I know through Friends references Pottery Barn now has a collection of Playstation furniture.
The line is ‘inspired by PlayStation’ and the particular inspiration they’ve really drawn from is charging a lot of money for what is something you definitely don’t need. Also, they’ve looked at the side of a PS2, ignored the inherent grossness of the texture and made all the furniture ribbed for your pleasure. The furniture is also in the ‘PB Teen’ section, just to really make you feel bad for considering purchasing it and showing that Pottery Barn need to research just who is looking for furniture suitable for gaming gear (EVERYONE. IT’S EVERYONE. WHY WON’T MY CONSOLES FIT IN OUR ENTERTAINMENT UNIT???)
There’s a Gaming Media Console (US$1,099), a Lounge Table (US$399), Beanbag (US$249), Icon Wall Light (US$199) and an Acrylic Cubby (US$69) but no couch with a complimentary cowboy hat and controller holster. The furniture is made of MDF and just seems to be furniture, the beanbag is suede but has the big drawback of being a bean bag and the sign seems kind of cool but does require you to plug it in. Now, the little cubbies for games with a place to hang your headphones – a good idea, I hear you think but can you trust a product being modelled with sport games, Primal and an Eye Toy title? No, no you can’t.
So, in short, it’s furniture based off an 18-year-old console that’s made for teens and is also high-priced but not high-quality. Thankfully it doesn’t seem to be available in Australia but who knows – Satan, who clearly made this, might work out worldwide shipping soon.